nom nom

eating mincedmeat soup. or, rest of it. 3 day it lasted, because i made so much. even i fed of it my cousin girl too :D. (sure we ate other foods too).  she + her son's visited kajaani now in weekend. but they didnt sleep in my room cuz no space. they slept at my uncle's house. good weekend was :)

today work continued again. we shared foods to centrum area today. i dont yet know what area tomorrow. i hope for teppana. or ok, i dont mind. we actually got early finished today, but sure my legs are hurt now. fitness went down during holiday :D.

i go soon to shop to buy cheese and other random things, when this hair is dryed enough.
aa, shampoo need also remember to buy.  sec need hurry write up in paper piece or i forget.


why i write in paper piece when can write in phone?, because im old fashioned ofcourseeee.
also i have an app in phone for my bonus purchases. and that application remember all my lately purchased foods (it update automatically as i use bonus card at store). and there is possible to make shopping list, by ticking each foods on/off. but still im so old fashioned that i prefer to write simply on paper piece and walk with it in the shop. heh..

in morning was problems to get bisycle lock open because in night rained, then it got frozen. and lock was frozen. in panic i with full power bended the lock numbers to all directions some time. then finally got :D and brakes + gears were frozen. hard this life when is cold...
i should bring bisycle in to basement, but annoying to bring it down the stairs and up. and down in basement need to open annoying heavy and big door. its bomb shelter door. because our bikes are there in bomb shelter at winter times.

tipsu nobo started her heat again. she had few days pause and now start again. and its now 3rd heat for this autumn. i need to cover bed + sofa with all possible stuff for time when im not home here watching her, so that she dont mark the places with pee. that Get off spray dont keep her away, i noticed. 2 first days she hated that spray smell. but in 3rd day she didnt anymore care of it, and tried to do her bad things again but i got stopped early enough :D only choice is then to put all possible things on sofa + bed then, then she have not space to go there. i dont want to castrate her because castrated cats get easier sicknesses + need buy special foods to them. become more expensiver just, with all the vet visits + special food purchases.. also castrated cats become lazier and begin to eat more food. i want that tipsu keep thin, + wild + crazy and playful like a kitty.

need to think what else i need from shop. hei.

good evening

i have wasted todays day just for sleeping and keeping calm and reading forums or chatting with ppl. some strange symptoms today. heart beating heavily. tiredness. dizziness, and i slept day nap to try fix this. but didnt help. and now in evening when i drank 1 cup coffee, i got almost like a panic attack after it. heavy breathing, dizziness. idk if i have just some burnout or then just stressed. yesterday i was very energetic and did many thing. maybe it revenges now. and i slept too short night.

phaah.. i googled to me all possible diagnoses already. heart attack, hypoparathyroidism, menopause :D:D, cancer, and what other.. i forgot. but anyway :D. 

10 min ago i was outside smoking with a guy from my ex work, who came to meet me with their friends. he was driver for his friends and they were very drunk. just on street near my yard smoked and chatted for 10 min. this little bit helped to feel better. maybe i just needed walk a bit in fresh air. would be better if i go walk longer trip to park, but now in weekend evening its bad idea because drunk ppl everywhere. somehow i dont feel safe in kajaani city in weekend evenings. if alone walk. or np if walk in public areas, but if walk in dark parks, then i dont feel safe. + now in finland is a clown epidemia. clowns frightening ppls everywhere in finland last 1 week now. this epidemia came from usa.

haha.. and now was it.. yesterday or 2 days ago, here in kajaani was a 2 clown boys trying to scare ppl. but then there appeard 3-4 girls. but they werent afraid of this clowns, so they started to hunt these clowns :D:D:DD::D boys in panic escaped to theirs homes, and then the girls called police. and police took the clowns. in other places in finland that clowns scared ppl and some of them had tools on hands. 1 clown had chainsaw :S. and small kids met these clowns. was big news in iltasanomat about this. poor kids.

in sweden some clown already killed someone in street. we live sick times.
this epidemia comes of some clown horror movie, seem like that.

kello is 22:36. im waiting that the butter is melting. so i will make sandwich and cook rooibos tea with ginger and lemon taste. i had no energy to even cook today. i only ate some random food pieces from fridge. well. i will make tomorrow mincedmeat soup then.

tipsu is atm digging dry food pellets of a box. i created "active toy" to her, of a box, where i added empty toiletpaper rolls. and then i poured dryfoods in the paperrolls to bottom. so she has to dig them up by hard work :D im evil >:D but cats likes to hunt the food, and play with it. sometimes if i throw to her a ham piece of my sandwich., she just play with it and throw it everywhere with her paw. fool cat. and then in the end she dont even eat it -.-

first she begg for it that i must give. then she just play and leave it there. pfff.
she do same thing with mouses. in norway she manytimes brought some type of mouse in to my room and bragged to me about it "mom look what i found". then when i say   jååå good cat clap clap clap. and continue my things. then she just start to play with it and then leave it there and dont even eat it. what a cat -.-. and then i must with paper carefully bring the mouse out. and wash hands 10 times after it with all possible poisons :P arsenikk etc.

today i have taken much magnesium (and calsium in balance) because heart beating heavily and pulse rising how it wants. im happy that i ever met magnesium, i would already be in the grave if didnt ever meet it and take it. kroooh. 

asthma medicine and magnesium is the importants medicine/mineral which i simply cant live without. 

farming simulator 2017 released 25th october. i have somehow played it, but cant play much, because graphic card is over heating. for example if i watch too long time at wheat field, (in wheat is so much pixlers), so graphic card gets totally crazy and temperature rise to 80+ celsius. my graphic card will die if reach 90 celsius. so i follow temperature accurated from a small program called Speccy. there can see temperatures to all things of pc.

i tried to put bad graphics in game, smallest resolution etc settings, but graphic card didnt care of it. still temperature rised and made much noise. hmh. in that game is too nice horizon and graphics just.

i have had problems with my sofa lately , thx to tipsu. she was on the heat, and she marked places here with piss. and she peed small amount in middle of sofa too. then i in panic washed the area with soda/bicarb + water. cuz i read somehwere in forums that with soda is good to wash piss away of textils or sofa. but my sofa textile didnt like it. color became whiter of it :S. so today i took a pen and with it recolored the whitened areas :D::DD result became very good actually. and i with wet rag little scrub the pen color lighter, so it looks possible balanced color with other area in sofa. 

also i keep a big rag on sofa where i spray Get off -spray. its supposed to make cat keep distance to that place. they dont like that smell. i for fun put cat on the rag where i sprayed it, her face became so fun, a wry face. :P wry, grin, grimace. idk which of them is the correct word. ok nvm.

here snowed 2 days on a row yesterday and before yesterday. today is only raining and is warm, +5c. and snows gone. winter lasted just 2 days. and my flowers happily still alive, and very big now. and growing growing and not afraid of cold. many nights been minus celsius , but they dont care. strange flowers i have o.O maybe they are wearing winter clothes on them, cuz/coz they dont seem to freeze. tsihiii...>:D. 2 days ago when was cold + snowing, i gave water to flowers, so of flowers raised fog :o. the ground were frozen. and other flower which is at balcony fence, was covered totally of snow. but the flower didnt care. kriaaah.. 

legs are itching. i bought 200g chokolate plate yesterday for certain reason. and i have eaten half of it. and now itch everywhere. sugar sugar.. tsk ..

sec need scratch legs. and maybe roll a smoke too and brb smoke. ok brb.

huh it helped. now can continue this wonderful life again. but hmms. i feel hungry a bit so i go cook tea with coffeemachine and make 1-2 sandwich. then happily eat them and read some forums. amen and hei.

1st vacation day

and idk how to spend it. i went early sleep yesterday because tired. me and mother visited marika for coffee and mother + me was eating outside, etc etc.

today i woke early in human times. cleaned room. but didnt vacuum clean. that can wait for inspiration. time is now 14:48. been in shower. now cookin tea. also i sent a msg to 1 guy, what he is doing. but no reply yet. i try to invite him here to make some food with me. but hmmm. if he dont answer, np. i can spend this day by my self and play games and chill. hehh.. 

i pre-ordered fs17. costed 34 USD. not so expensive. 25th october they release it. jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)))))))
i will try it with this pc, but if will not run, then need faster get moneys for graphic card -.-

today i have mostly just layed in sofa or bed and surfed with phone. yes and chatted in gameranger with Yu.GoD Dragonfire. about travelling things.

in my right hand is cotton glove. because i just put bemetson to hands + feet.

aa, and i was again on neurosonic chair yesterday. but i took 11 minutes program just because i wanted fast home just :D also i took new magnet behind left ear. last magnet falled again off in 5th day of putting.

now i go get the tea. and drink it and watch this screen with empty brain and maybe try to plan what i want to do today. aa, and no, im not tea drinker 100%. nowadays i drink coffee in mornings and days, and in evenings tea. but today i want tea suddenly at this clocktime too. njams.

im restless

while waiting for mother, so better waste time by writing here some sentences.
she is somewhere shopping and when finished, coming to get me and we go eat pizza.
i ate yesterday too but njet problem njet problem. today started holiday. should have started tomorrow, but my work partner will not be at work tomorrow, so i too dont need to be. and i called to my boss and asked what i do tomorrow then. he said i can start the holiday already today :) yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........   31st october work continues again.

no intress to cook today so i called to mother and asked if she want to go eat with me.
legs are little hurt of stairs running to customers. and left foot (foot table) is somehow sprained a bit. maybe because suddenly need run in stairs so much, then feet are in shock :))

this far i have driven with car and all was nice + good. then i have delivered foods alone while work team was driving just, etc. we use to change roles when feel so. other drive, other bring foods. well, but i have got driven 1 time just sofar. anyway, she said that after holiday i must do both works, drive + bring foods, and she will just sit in car and "support" :D this will be hard... double more energy will be wasted then. focus in driving, then yet need run stairs up. jååh..  i already now notice i have got better fitness, i dont anymore get so tired in stairs running, or with bisycling. 

after 5 mins mother should come. she sais she will go to some second hand shop, and it will close now after 5 mins. then she come. and we go to abc to eat. its our favourite place, because its big, there is good light, and much space to sit. i dont like small restaurants where ppls are so close. + air is bad. in big restaurants can more relax, and there dare to sit long times without that nobody wonder. sad that abc is not anymore open in night times like before. propably not enough paying customers at night times, too expensive to keep it open then. big space.. waste a lot of electricity. only teens + drunkards use to go there at night times. and they dont have money :D they only go sit there to relax and meet friends. and make noise and disturb others. i think its 1 reason too why they close it for night. 

finally i got new and normal stove. suddenly when i came home from work, here was new stove, and ugly old thin stove was away from here. and this new stove is normal size even. now can make normal size pizza :) and not small plate...like in old was.

time is 17:00. i go prepare now. she will call in any minute. baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaj.

saturday

good morning good morning clap clap clap. i drink 2nd cup of coffee. time is 09:12 and i woke 1 hour ago. i slept on the floor :o. because i yesterday vacuumcleaned floors, so now was good moment to test sleeping to west direction (feng shui). but idk if i slept to right direction anyway. maybe compass in phone lie. well, maybe dont need be so 100000% accurate with direction. anyway i slept full night without waking up for toilet or smoke.
but i falled slowly asleep. but sleeping full night is good sign. not slept like that in months maybe. anyway i dont know if in middle of room floor in front of furnitures and things is good to sleep because energies in room bounces from place to place, (if look feng shui chart how energies move in room). so in my room this is bad. becuase everywhere is something obstacle for energy to be possible to move clearly. hmm. if want that energy move clearly and nicely in room, should be clean room and things/objects in room need to be in good place. difficult fix it like that in small room.

now is 1 week gone in new work. i need to learn 200+ new routes and custome adress + name. help help. in 1 day we bring foods to about 60 ppl. customers change everyday, because some customers want food for example 2 times a week, some ppl everyday, etc. thats why in total they are over 200 probably. and we drive 2 different areas in my city, by changing the area everyday. so i must learn 2 different city areas routes and adresses. they self had to learn at once just 1 area. so they learnt it in 2 week. poor me... 2 areas in mind at same time. im still confused. and we dont have any navigator in car even. need just remember every adress. photographic memory is very needed in this work. 

work start at 8:50 or 09:00, depending on what area we drive. my work partner use to drive 2 areas only. and then other workers drive another areas. there are some 5 active workers who drive their areas everyday. my working partner said that in next monday she will let me drive. loool... i still dont remember the routes. she will have to be my map reader then. "left. right. left. left. right. straight."   xD, centrum area is worst, because trafic everywhere and the house yard routes are very tight. we drive car always in front of door to the house. and no time to drive slowly, because old ppl waiting their foods. need to drive like crazy so that we stay in time schedule. i wonder how many fine they have got from police during 1 year...

for centrum area we need to share foods in 3 groups. 20,20,20. everytime need get new food batch from the kitchen. because the kitchen give us only small amount at once, so that foods stays warm. if they give us like.. 200 food packet at once. they would get cold before we get them all delivered to the customers.

and what else.. hmmms. work days are short. ends usually 1 pm plus minus. if we are good in time schedule and no problems in delivering, then usually 1 pm we are done. manytimes happened that the kitchen messed something. for example some worker in kitchen lost foods to floor :D:D:D. or. food was for some reason not ready for needed time. or food ran out too early, etc. manytimes we delivered foods 15-20 minutes too late. and elderly ppl blame us :D. all customers are not retired old ppl. there are few younger custom too, who has some problem, that he cant cook foods for him self. so he use our services. for example there are drunkards.. or just somehow else troubled or injured ppl. but 98% of folks are old.

fitness will rise in this work. because need run 30 +- stairs everyday. there are elevators in some houses. but not all. centrum area is worst in this case. much stairs because in centrum are high houses. poor legs when i come home. another area is easier, there houses are either row houses, or then just single houses. + there is easier to drive with car. 
 i would learn the centrum area adresses faster, because centrum is pretty known for me. but with car here is not fun to drive if is hurry. + we drive with a van car. more harder.

another area is more unknown for me. but i want still learn it as 1st choice, because funnier to drive there. roads are calm , etc. and no stairs to run so much.

we dont have at all coffee breaks. no time for it. we must be running non-stop. when foods are delivered, quickly back to kitchen to get new batch of foods and you have narrowly time to go to toilet. but not time for any other things. then hurry continue delivering. i still go quickly smoke behind corner when even get 1 minute idle time :D. actually not allowed to smoke there at all, but im trainee just, + im not alone delivering the foods, so we anyway win in time when is 4 hands delivering them. sometimes we do so, that my partner go in another door, and i at same time to another door to bring food. we win double time then. (if the doors are close to each other or in same house). we go with keys in to customers. some few customer are in enough good fitness either in mind or fysically, that they come open the door by them self. but 90% of them just sit aphatetical on their rooms and dont much understand :D there can be dementic ppl or deaf, etc. some doors has a alarm system. its for health sector that they get alarm if the oldie "escape" out from door somewhere. this alarm is for dementic ppl. we must shut this alarm on and off when we bring food. so that health sector dont get fake alarms.

every old ppl get warm lunch/dinner dosage, drink (milk/juice), sandwich (dark/white bread+butter) and a dessert. this all are in about 40cm x 30cm styrofoam pack. we empty foods of the styrofoam to customers food table, and bring empty styrofoam back to the kitchen.

about breaks again. we try to not drink too much because it be bad if must to toilet middle of driving. so its also logical why we dont have any coffee breaks. if is thirsty, need drink very carefully little just the water of bottle :D and in morning i tactic with what i drink and how much, so i know when i must next time piss :D 1 cup coffee just and few amount of water for vitamines. if i drink more than that the coffee/water, will come problems later. 
'
in summer this can be interesting when is heat :)). then will go a lot of water...
for hygienic reasons we dont ofcourse want to go to toilet by elderly ppl. but sure allowed if very must. i use to sometimes take a bite of sandwich during driving. because no time to eat calm. when drive to next adress which takes 1 minute for example. then have time to take 1-2 bite of sandwich :D so can guess how starving i am when come home after 1 :D
can eat the whole fridge almost at once. because in earl morning i dont get anything eaten. no appetite just. and if force eat, i will throw up. so only in car few bite of sanwich then.
and run much in stairs. much calories will burn. gooooooooooooooood. i will loose the stomach sausages finally now. i looked in calorie burning list that 1 hour running on the stairs burn about 590 calorie. calm walking on stairs 295 calorie. we run them up, every other step up, so we get pretty fast up :D and then jump stairs down again. 

10:00 blackout came now. idk waht to type. i smoked and after it toughts stopped. hmmms.
also im hungry. yesterday i didnt eat warm food at all. just 3-4 sandwich and chips and candies + chokolate. nice food day :D today i will make some normal food. maybe chicken + rice. why i say maybe.. its sure i will. because i took chicken pack out from freezer to melt 2 hours ago.

and of chips came an ulcer to inside cheek. maybe some allergy reaction of the spices. and then after it i accidentally bit the cheek meat when i ate, ulcer/soar is bigger now. cool..

new window ledges are finally been placed on now. 2 days ago when i came home. they suddenly was on. harashoo. also i will maybe get a new stove. i blamed to house government that its broken, and 1 of government woman came to check it with an electrician man. he checked it and said its dangerous, because so old. (can get in fire). and nonsense to fix it. + the old stove maybe use much power too. so new one is needed. i hope my room owner agree on it. he is over 90y old. so he can be a bit stingy. he has been in the war too. but idk what his role was there then.

10:13. tuo yks tuli 10:00 ja lähti nyt just. varmaa kävi kahtoo et oonko heräny tai paikalla. juuh... eile sitä ei näkyny. muistaakseni sen äitillä oli eile synttärit. oiskoha ollu siellä sit. en tiiä. akkurat akkurat jups bravoo.  ok nothing more to say. hei.

some title just. who cares.

today last day here in work. in monday i start another work. hihiii... im excited.
in last week of october i have autumn vacation. its just 1 week long.

proprio..  later today maybe 1 friend come to me and we maybe make some food and just chill. if i have the mood, or if i want to be alone. we will see. of us ambiverts can never know if want be social or hermit. or idk. some days im more introvert than ambivert. and veeery rarely extrovert. cat humans usually are introverts or ambiverts. dog humans ambiverts or extroverts. this is only my own observation and theory just. as i have analyzed ppl around me.. in my mind i see a extrovert human like a dog with open mouth and tongue long out and breathing heavily + happilly and very social and attacking everyone :D ahhahaha... and cat humans very o.O faced, scary and careful and reserved. and ready to hide when even little bit dangerous atmosphere. etc. and shy with new humans. tipsu go always behind sofa when some guests come. but if she recognize its some known human, she come out behind sofa and go say hello to guest. but when many guest come at same time. then she stays very long time hidden. afraid of so many talking and laughing voices. manytimes i see she copy me :D is in similar way shy and reserved. what kind pet, that kind owner.. or other way. isnt it usually so. 

yesterday i was again on neurosonic/massage chair. i almost fall asleep in it :P
also i got again a (acupuncture) magnet behind left ear. first 2 hours i felt sad + gloomy and negative. digged up old things from mind, what some ppl said then and then, and this made me mad almost. last time too the magnet did same reactions. but then after longer time it calm just and avoid stress. last time when i had the magnet, it left off in 5th day. was purpose to keep it 7 days. interesting how many days it stay now then. in shower need be careful when wash behind ears.

nights + mornings are very cold nowadays, minus celsius. if in night is more than -2c, i cover flowers with newspapers. so they dont die. still not dead.

yesterday when i came home from work, in my room was a renovation man painting walls around windows :P. still i dont know when they will put the ledges. i have waited 2 weeks now and room is because of that in chaos cuz all things are moved away from window. mrääh...

inside my left thumb between index finger is nice long thin scar now. because i burned it last sunday when took pizza out from oven. i used oven mitt ofcourse, but problem was, the oven mitt was wet. so heat of oven immediately took on the water and made it burning hot and aa my fingers :D right hand fingers also burned, but not so strongly as left thumb. i kept it in cold water but it didnt help. then i looked help from google + asked from gameranger friends. one told me to put toothpaste. it helped 80% but little burned still trought it. then other guy said i must put thumb in flours :D i was first like.. he joke? :D. but then i googled it and there too was stories about it, how in vietnam war some soldiers whose hands got in fire, they put hands in flour bag and burning stopped and even soar/scar didnt come in hands after. its so strange how it helped. i kept 10 mins like that in flours, and burning stopped 100000% for ever. jååh... and then for night i put small dose honey on the burn area and plaster over. aamen.

much interesting dreams been at nights in this week. often i dont remember them, but now i remember from every night this week. some dreams are scary, some very utopic and fun.

last night dream was like from horror movie -.- some scary woman hunted  in some forest me and i escaped in to some house to a friend, and she helped me to get rid of that monster woman :D we put on house floors soap(?) :D and some fuel. and we waited when that monster woman came to that rooms, and we threw matchstick to floor so whole floor got in fire and that woman too :D then we tried to escape to car garage next to house and escape with car. car was some jeep style car. but car was broken of fire or something. and we were middle on some forest and there was scary. then we was thinking how to escape to sivilization, and we were afraid if that  woman didnt die there and still sneak somewhere in house :d i was very anguished in dream, then i suddenly woke up and had to go pee. maybe if need strongly pee, then see horror dreams. hmm.. or idk. i was hungry too. i didnt eat anything in late evening.
and yet in toilet i was seeing this dream. i very tried to wake up but was hard. then i went to balcony to sit and smoke, and fresh cold air finally made me wake up and forget the dream. then i went back to bed. but dream came again in mind and mind wanted to continue it -.-
was difficult to fall asleep again then. then i have seen many utopic strange dreams which i cant even explain. then i have seen war dreams. then i have seen dreams about how some minister will die etc :O maybe i have read too much political news lately :D

today im number 11 in numerology. sec i try to find in internet the keywords of 11 character.


Positive Characteristics: A Master number, the 11 is the most intuitive of all numbers. It is instinctual, charismatic, dynamic and capable when its sights are set on a concrete goal. The 11 is the number associated with faith and psychics.

Negative Characteristics: The 11 can be anxious, shy, stressed, conflicted and scattered. When focus is not applied toward a goal, the 11 can be extremely self-sabotaging. As a Master number, the positive characteristics will turn into obstacles when not understood or used properly.

and from other page:

In Numerology 11 is the most intuitive of all numbers. It represents illumination; a channel to the subconscious; insight without rational thought; and sensitivity, nervous energy, shyness, and impracticality. It is a dreamer. 

The 11 has all the aspects of the 2, enhanced and charged with charisma, leadership, and inspiration. It is a number with inborn duality, which creates dynamism, inner conflict, and other catalyses with its mere presence. 

It is a number that, when not focused on some goal beyond itself, can be turned inward to create fears and phobias. The 11 walks the edge between greatness and self-destruction. Its potential for growth, stability, and personal power lies in its acceptance of intuitive understanding, and of spiritual truths. For the 11, such peace is not found so much in logic, but in faith. It is the psychic's number.

my personal month number is 4 in this month. and year number 3.

i put the links here so i find them later at home..

month number 4: http://www.tokenrock.com/numerology/life-path-4.html

day number 11: http://www.numerology.com/number-11

my life path number, calculated of birthday: http://www.tokenrock.com/numerology/life-path-1.html

year number 3: http://numerology4yoursoul.com/3-personal-year/

about last year number 2, and this year 3: http://www.crystalinks.com/numerologypy.html.


number 2 also is thinking about food and nutrition things. anyway i have noticed so that i always do when im either 2 in day number, or of month number or year number.

When the personal year number changes with the new year, it isn't a sudden break from one number to another. Instead, the yearly change begins a month or two before the new year. Earlier for some, later for others.

and in many other pages too i read it starts to change in september 4 days after first new moon, but changing happen slowly. in new year time its completely changed. 
i dont like my coming next years number 4. seems like a sad number. and unlucks number. muuuuuuuuuuuuu.... i will become some serious zombie who only think work and stability and money and etc. like an adult :D  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..........

pls let me jump direclty to number 5. 5 is versatile and interesting + intelligent number.

huh.. time is only 10:10. plz time goo fasteeer... boring here cuz again no work. just surf in internet and when go home, surfing continues there too. eeh.. im happy soon i get a work where i must move. there i will not sit. if dont count sitting in car seat :D but mostly it be walking and rising stairs up + down. jeeh... good my legs are already in good stairs fitness because i walk my own home stairs up and down daily. i notice i have got much muscles round legs since i moved to finland from norway. i saw old photos when i was in norways, jeans "hanged" round legs just, my legs were so thin there. because there i didnt need to use legs muscles. only walk from home some meters to work place and only stand there many hours. then again walk back home. and only 3-4 steps stairs had to go up. pff.. then in finland when i had to walk my stairs up everyday, suddenly soon jeans started to feel tight in legs :D and jeans didnt anymore hang around legs. and in photos too i notice how legs more tight now and "fat" :D in norway i was 46kg. now 53-54kg. huhu... big difference in 2-3 years. (eating is about same as in norway was). still eating same heavy meat-potatoe meals with much fat. and much butter on bread , and much fat on milk, etc. and ofcourse much strong fatet cheese. everyday like 20 piece goes cream cheese. calcium nam nam...

i often laugh in mind at grocery cassa when i see a fat human buying light margarin and light milk and other light things. why then he dont get thinner if he eat such foods? and thin ppl who buy full fat productions, they still keep being thin. light productions have much synthetical shitts which make only worse everything. ppl are so stupid really... ok lets not insult now. aaameen..

i found reason for my lately weight gaining .i have simply just eaten double rations of food, even stomach is full, i have eaten over much. then stomach ofcourse grows and take more and more :D

i have now started to eat smaller doses, so small that i just and just feel ok full in stomach. dont need to eat over full. ofcourse stomach space grows bigger then. good this work ends, so i stop getting warm lunch here. because i yet have to eat warm food at home in evenings. 2 warm foods in a day. sure i gain weight. in next work will not be warm lunch as i understood. i must take my own sandwiches with me there. good just. then i wont eat so much in a day. and then just make 1 warm food in evening.

annoying radio. some justin bieber shitt there.. give me ear plugs.. and because they always play same CD again and again. dont they have enough cd's there? only 1? :D

everyday same shitts. then when i go home, the ugly songs still play in mind even i dont want. raaah... if i could command here, i would put classicals :D but then other humans gets angry to me :D nobody modern and "normal" human listen to classical. only me cuz im unigue. haaa-haaa....


oho long blog text become of this. good. sec need look weather...


+4c. oki. a man next to me in other computer surely wonder what i write so long here :D maybe he think i write some romantic story. hööö... now i started to be anxious little. so hei hei.