good evening

i have wasted todays day just for sleeping and keeping calm and reading forums or chatting with ppl. some strange symptoms today. heart beating heavily. tiredness. dizziness, and i slept day nap to try fix this. but didnt help. and now in evening when i drank 1 cup coffee, i got almost like a panic attack after it. heavy breathing, dizziness. idk if i have just some burnout or then just stressed. yesterday i was very energetic and did many thing. maybe it revenges now. and i slept too short night.

phaah.. i googled to me all possible diagnoses already. heart attack, hypoparathyroidism, menopause :D:D, cancer, and what other.. i forgot. but anyway :D. 

10 min ago i was outside smoking with a guy from my ex work, who came to meet me with their friends. he was driver for his friends and they were very drunk. just on street near my yard smoked and chatted for 10 min. this little bit helped to feel better. maybe i just needed walk a bit in fresh air. would be better if i go walk longer trip to park, but now in weekend evening its bad idea because drunk ppl everywhere. somehow i dont feel safe in kajaani city in weekend evenings. if alone walk. or np if walk in public areas, but if walk in dark parks, then i dont feel safe. + now in finland is a clown epidemia. clowns frightening ppls everywhere in finland last 1 week now. this epidemia came from usa.

haha.. and now was it.. yesterday or 2 days ago, here in kajaani was a 2 clown boys trying to scare ppl. but then there appeard 3-4 girls. but they werent afraid of this clowns, so they started to hunt these clowns :D:D:DD::D boys in panic escaped to theirs homes, and then the girls called police. and police took the clowns. in other places in finland that clowns scared ppl and some of them had tools on hands. 1 clown had chainsaw :S. and small kids met these clowns. was big news in iltasanomat about this. poor kids.

in sweden some clown already killed someone in street. we live sick times.
this epidemia comes of some clown horror movie, seem like that.

kello is 22:36. im waiting that the butter is melting. so i will make sandwich and cook rooibos tea with ginger and lemon taste. i had no energy to even cook today. i only ate some random food pieces from fridge. well. i will make tomorrow mincedmeat soup then.

tipsu is atm digging dry food pellets of a box. i created "active toy" to her, of a box, where i added empty toiletpaper rolls. and then i poured dryfoods in the paperrolls to bottom. so she has to dig them up by hard work :D im evil >:D but cats likes to hunt the food, and play with it. sometimes if i throw to her a ham piece of my sandwich., she just play with it and throw it everywhere with her paw. fool cat. and then in the end she dont even eat it -.-

first she begg for it that i must give. then she just play and leave it there. pfff.
she do same thing with mouses. in norway she manytimes brought some type of mouse in to my room and bragged to me about it "mom look what i found". then when i say   jååå good cat clap clap clap. and continue my things. then she just start to play with it and then leave it there and dont even eat it. what a cat -.-. and then i must with paper carefully bring the mouse out. and wash hands 10 times after it with all possible poisons :P arsenikk etc.

today i have taken much magnesium (and calsium in balance) because heart beating heavily and pulse rising how it wants. im happy that i ever met magnesium, i would already be in the grave if didnt ever meet it and take it. kroooh. 

asthma medicine and magnesium is the importants medicine/mineral which i simply cant live without. 

farming simulator 2017 released 25th october. i have somehow played it, but cant play much, because graphic card is over heating. for example if i watch too long time at wheat field, (in wheat is so much pixlers), so graphic card gets totally crazy and temperature rise to 80+ celsius. my graphic card will die if reach 90 celsius. so i follow temperature accurated from a small program called Speccy. there can see temperatures to all things of pc.

i tried to put bad graphics in game, smallest resolution etc settings, but graphic card didnt care of it. still temperature rised and made much noise. hmh. in that game is too nice horizon and graphics just.

i have had problems with my sofa lately , thx to tipsu. she was on the heat, and she marked places here with piss. and she peed small amount in middle of sofa too. then i in panic washed the area with soda/bicarb + water. cuz i read somehwere in forums that with soda is good to wash piss away of textils or sofa. but my sofa textile didnt like it. color became whiter of it :S. so today i took a pen and with it recolored the whitened areas :D::DD result became very good actually. and i with wet rag little scrub the pen color lighter, so it looks possible balanced color with other area in sofa. 

also i keep a big rag on sofa where i spray Get off -spray. its supposed to make cat keep distance to that place. they dont like that smell. i for fun put cat on the rag where i sprayed it, her face became so fun, a wry face. :P wry, grin, grimace. idk which of them is the correct word. ok nvm.

here snowed 2 days on a row yesterday and before yesterday. today is only raining and is warm, +5c. and snows gone. winter lasted just 2 days. and my flowers happily still alive, and very big now. and growing growing and not afraid of cold. many nights been minus celsius , but they dont care. strange flowers i have o.O maybe they are wearing winter clothes on them, cuz/coz they dont seem to freeze. tsihiii...>:D. 2 days ago when was cold + snowing, i gave water to flowers, so of flowers raised fog :o. the ground were frozen. and other flower which is at balcony fence, was covered totally of snow. but the flower didnt care. kriaaah.. 

legs are itching. i bought 200g chokolate plate yesterday for certain reason. and i have eaten half of it. and now itch everywhere. sugar sugar.. tsk ..

sec need scratch legs. and maybe roll a smoke too and brb smoke. ok brb.

huh it helped. now can continue this wonderful life again. but hmms. i feel hungry a bit so i go cook tea with coffeemachine and make 1-2 sandwich. then happily eat them and read some forums. amen and hei.