kuis menöö? mul iha ookoo. very warm today, 25c in the shadow, and in room 26c. balcon door open 24/7. not closed it for many weeks anymore.
today i cant have normal pants in this africa weather. jeans shorts feels good. (i cutted them self). room is cleaned + vacuumcleaned. and dishes in machine. + æ har dusja. så what next? må mate mørri å idag. ork ikje å sykle nu, e førr vant dær ute nu. må veinte at mamma kjør mæ dit. ja å d e siste dagen æ mata han mørri, brorn kjæm heim imårra kveill. må jømme nøkkeln hans i kjelleren fordi æ ska lægg mæ tidli i mårra så kan ikje vente på han. han veit koden inn hit så han kan sjøl hente den.
aha.. tipsu puked. brb må vaske d bort.
14:48. sånn. ho spiste græss når vi va ute, so they use to puke after it, cleaning hairs from stomach in that way. very lovely :) (yørhh)...
brother's jaguar been in maintenance +1 month, thats why i have sycled then to feed mørri.
tipsu not eaten in 4 days now. she dont want to eat different brand food. cats are so annoying picky -.- . and she lost much weight because of that. now 2.4kg. as normal she use to be 3kg. 6 dosage bags wasted now. mörri would have eaten them in 1 second.
in pack is 6 more bags. i will give them to mörri, and buy another food to tipsu miau mjouu today.
i woke at 9am. nice eyebags because slept bad. but i dont feel tired now. or then the allergy medicine makes the eyebags. idk. need to follow situation. i will change the medicine if thats causing it. i dont want to look like 40 old :D.
jåååååååååååååååååååååååååååååååååååååååå. and what then. hmmms.
ate breakfast 10 min ago. eggmix, bacon, toasted bread. (as usual). but in workdays this habit stops. i have had so weak fantasy for food lately. everyday eat the same. blääh..
but can also be because moneys ending, so need to eat cheap. still not got salary, had to borrow some money from mother. 1.6 comes housing benefit. then i survive with it so long until the bigger money come. im happy my room owner is not so accurated, he dont care when i pay the rent. he just said "pay when want, just it be in the particular month". usually many owners are very accurated with this, they request rent moneys exactly 15th day or the 1st day, or last day. im lucky in this case. in sammonkatu where i lived 2006-2011, there also my room owner was very relax. she also didnt care when i pay the rent. in that years i had much money troubles, and had to pay rent little late few times, but she always was like "yeees no probleeems. just pay when you can" :D in this current room i have yet not had problems with paying rent. and i hope never come. is shameful just. and anyway years 2005-2010 were/was shameful years. i lived full in fog and in my own world. in dark room, all curtains hiding 100% the windows, so that not even 1% light can come in. and all kind of depressions + problems and lived wild life etc. huh huh.. never again. now my life is somehow in balance + my mood is good and head works good. and now i can even think about future. but still carefully :D maybe not my character just, to worry too much of future.
im too relax and lazy for that. im happy that things are currently ok :D idc how they are tomorrow. or sure about some very normal daily things ofcourse. but nothing else. and that also, because im not ambitious or greedy.
i have smoked 1 years old tabacco now :D i have my tobacco things in a icecream box, so that i dont mess floors when roll the smoke, so, everytime i roll, some amount of tabaccos fall in bottom of the box. and then i every month pick them up and put in another empty tabacco bag. and in half year or maybe 1 year, i have collected 2 full bags :D then i re-use them again :D i put wet paper piece inside, so that tabaccos become "fresh". and no problems, taste is full normal :P only little difficulter to roll, because tabaccos are so small.
kriaaks.. jooh nothing else to say. mind is empty. bajj
maanantai 30. toukokuuta 2016
sunnuntai 29. toukokuuta 2016
hellurei
my coffee taste little... khh khh sweet. i accidentally poured 3-5 spoon sugar in the cup when had to put 1. i poured directly from the bag, and from bag jumped some very big sugar clot :P i dont mix it too hardly so it wont taste too strong. and can use it in another coffee dose the same sugars . hehhe. and nonono, not white poison sugar, but cocos sugar.
tipsu noob not eaten in 2 or 3 days anything. i changed food brand. and she dont like it. i dont give up. i put still everyday the foods. and then when they are still there in the next morning, i brutally throw the foods and wash cup and put new dose. :D she should give up soon. .
work continue 1.6 wednesday. juhuuu... im working on my sleep regime now, turning it back to "normal". they self let me choose the beginning day, so i specially took wednesday and month begin, so that i get enough time to switch my sleep regime back. and because its nice to start in new month beginning. like from clean table. sleep regime not easy to switch back over because i have slept to afternoons :D need learn to wake up 6:30 again. help help..
but now is 10:18. i woke some 30 mins ago. so im not faraway anymore :)
tomorrow i put alarm clock to 9:00. then in tuesday to 7:30. maybe this be good?
and wednesday 6:45. 6:45 is ok cuz i will not eat breakfast, but eat in work then.
yesterday i woke at 11 or 12. dont remember.
i changed allergy medicine because kestine not helping. 2 last days i have taken double doses it, and buhuhuulllshitt.. helping nothing. nose bleed, eyes bleed, and need to sneeze 1000000 times in a day. i then remembered that some doctor wrote to me recipe to another allergy medicine some months ago, but i never bought it from apotecary cuz i was loyal to my kestine :D now in pollen map http://norkko.fi i see pollen dust is full in attack around here now.
so yesterday i bought Histec 10mg. testing it now. took 1 h ago. im scared if histec will make tired. many allergy medicines do that. kestine never did. in work days medicine zombie tiredness wont be good.
yesterday was very hot day. even was just 18-19c in shadow, but felt like 30+. or ok sure felt 30+ when sat directly under sun whole evening. anyway nice was. we was on the picnics in 2 different place. first in paltaniemi and then later in evening we took food (chicken+rice with salad) from some pizzeria and went to eat to an other place. finnish ppl also love to sit outside when sun, on the grass and like that, but they never have anything coffee's with them. this i dont understand. they only have some water/soda just and maybe some candybag. but thats boring. why cant have foods and coffees and like that. in finland is not this culture i think. cuz i have yet not seen anywhere. me and mother much think about this, but mother said she take this habit from denmark. there they used to go out to eat and like that. and in sweden too. food taste 1000000000% better outside than inside 4 walls and roof. because outside is more oxygen, then somehow taste sense work better. or idk. its my theory just :D
neck itch whole the time. grääh.. i go smoke. maybe im nervous just or smth.
outside is same warm as here in room. or feel so. again coming hot day. sec i look from phone how much celsius will be. hmm 20c and tomorrow 22c. how in wednesday then.. sec.
................tuesday 19. and wednesday 20. thursday 18, friday 19, saturday 13, sunday 12.
ok.
youngest brother has been in tallinn 1 month soon. i have taken care of mörri since then.
he give me some salary for it :) clap clap clap harashoo. but in workdays im more tired when first need work, then after it need bisycle to feed that cat. i hope he (bro) soon come home.
his plan is to move to tallinn. he rented some small room there already. and registrated himself there, and his business. he is escaping finnish taxes. rich ppl has bigger worries. buahahha.. good to be poor, then is smaller worries. and when the day come that he totally move to estonia, he will give mörri away to some new home. he cant have him there, if he for example travel suddenly to somewhere, nobody would take care of him. so it wont just work. here in kajaani i always can take care of him when bro is on the travel, but if they go to tallinn, then cant. i hope mörri gets good home then, now i feel sorry for him because he is so much alone.
kello on 10:40. *yawn*. need to get another cup of coffee. brb.
now in the heat days is very weak food appetite. as yesterday, i woke some 11 or 12, but i ate breakfast 17:50 or something :D somehow just dont feel hungry. but then in evenings i eat like a wolf.
feel so tired. idk does histec this, or did i just sleep bad. hmms.
aa, and finland won silver in world championship. canada took gold again. they gook it last year too. grrr... finland played all games perfectly, loss 0. but then in final lost :D they were somehow frozen and nervous in final game. i saw it clearly. but canada also was tired. playing was slow and messy too. but eventually i can say canada + finland were same good. because both loss just 1 game in the whole tourney. canada lost to finland in the section game. zehahhaa.. that game was good. and also where in semifinal we won russia 3-1, was also amazing. always nice to beat neighbour enemy >:D russians were so proud + because their own homebase, so we very needed this win. and sweden falled out already in quarter final. yaaawn.. what to do now. idk. surf in demi.fi (forum) and look what young ppl discuss about there. there is a lot of bullshitt discussions because typical teens, but sometimes there is full sensible discussions too. and im not the only one "oldie" there. there is many other and even older than me. i have often answered to some fool questions by small teens. i love to help :D and isnt it good just, that we older "sisters" help younger ones forward in this life :P because experience.
should vacuumclean this room. not done it for 2 week almost o.O because been so allergic. but sure allergy is stronger when is much dust :D if this histec will help, then tomorrow im able to vacuumclean here finally. i have been afraid to vacuumclean because then all dust go in the air and i will just get more sick. today i cant cuz sunday. need respect the resting day.
father got work in some building company. there is long workdays but he is happy that he even have a work and get a salary. he was many months without job. also he finally changed car :D he bought newer van car. some white ford transit. 2001 years modell.
his last one was soooooooo hatsjiuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... khh khh.. horrible and etc.
i always shamed when he drove with it. when that car was on the park somewhere, it woke attention from 1km. other cars were new and nice. then suddenly my fathers car there :D
proprio.. now i start to surf in internet and etc.
tipsu noob not eaten in 2 or 3 days anything. i changed food brand. and she dont like it. i dont give up. i put still everyday the foods. and then when they are still there in the next morning, i brutally throw the foods and wash cup and put new dose. :D she should give up soon. .
work continue 1.6 wednesday. juhuuu... im working on my sleep regime now, turning it back to "normal". they self let me choose the beginning day, so i specially took wednesday and month begin, so that i get enough time to switch my sleep regime back. and because its nice to start in new month beginning. like from clean table. sleep regime not easy to switch back over because i have slept to afternoons :D need learn to wake up 6:30 again. help help..
but now is 10:18. i woke some 30 mins ago. so im not faraway anymore :)
tomorrow i put alarm clock to 9:00. then in tuesday to 7:30. maybe this be good?
and wednesday 6:45. 6:45 is ok cuz i will not eat breakfast, but eat in work then.
yesterday i woke at 11 or 12. dont remember.
i changed allergy medicine because kestine not helping. 2 last days i have taken double doses it, and buhuhuulllshitt.. helping nothing. nose bleed, eyes bleed, and need to sneeze 1000000 times in a day. i then remembered that some doctor wrote to me recipe to another allergy medicine some months ago, but i never bought it from apotecary cuz i was loyal to my kestine :D now in pollen map http://norkko.fi i see pollen dust is full in attack around here now.
so yesterday i bought Histec 10mg. testing it now. took 1 h ago. im scared if histec will make tired. many allergy medicines do that. kestine never did. in work days medicine zombie tiredness wont be good.
yesterday was very hot day. even was just 18-19c in shadow, but felt like 30+. or ok sure felt 30+ when sat directly under sun whole evening. anyway nice was. we was on the picnics in 2 different place. first in paltaniemi and then later in evening we took food (chicken+rice with salad) from some pizzeria and went to eat to an other place. finnish ppl also love to sit outside when sun, on the grass and like that, but they never have anything coffee's with them. this i dont understand. they only have some water/soda just and maybe some candybag. but thats boring. why cant have foods and coffees and like that. in finland is not this culture i think. cuz i have yet not seen anywhere. me and mother much think about this, but mother said she take this habit from denmark. there they used to go out to eat and like that. and in sweden too. food taste 1000000000% better outside than inside 4 walls and roof. because outside is more oxygen, then somehow taste sense work better. or idk. its my theory just :D
neck itch whole the time. grääh.. i go smoke. maybe im nervous just or smth.
outside is same warm as here in room. or feel so. again coming hot day. sec i look from phone how much celsius will be. hmm 20c and tomorrow 22c. how in wednesday then.. sec.
................tuesday 19. and wednesday 20. thursday 18, friday 19, saturday 13, sunday 12.
ok.
youngest brother has been in tallinn 1 month soon. i have taken care of mörri since then.
he give me some salary for it :) clap clap clap harashoo. but in workdays im more tired when first need work, then after it need bisycle to feed that cat. i hope he (bro) soon come home.
his plan is to move to tallinn. he rented some small room there already. and registrated himself there, and his business. he is escaping finnish taxes. rich ppl has bigger worries. buahahha.. good to be poor, then is smaller worries. and when the day come that he totally move to estonia, he will give mörri away to some new home. he cant have him there, if he for example travel suddenly to somewhere, nobody would take care of him. so it wont just work. here in kajaani i always can take care of him when bro is on the travel, but if they go to tallinn, then cant. i hope mörri gets good home then, now i feel sorry for him because he is so much alone.
kello on 10:40. *yawn*. need to get another cup of coffee. brb.
now in the heat days is very weak food appetite. as yesterday, i woke some 11 or 12, but i ate breakfast 17:50 or something :D somehow just dont feel hungry. but then in evenings i eat like a wolf.
feel so tired. idk does histec this, or did i just sleep bad. hmms.
aa, and finland won silver in world championship. canada took gold again. they gook it last year too. grrr... finland played all games perfectly, loss 0. but then in final lost :D they were somehow frozen and nervous in final game. i saw it clearly. but canada also was tired. playing was slow and messy too. but eventually i can say canada + finland were same good. because both loss just 1 game in the whole tourney. canada lost to finland in the section game. zehahhaa.. that game was good. and also where in semifinal we won russia 3-1, was also amazing. always nice to beat neighbour enemy >:D russians were so proud + because their own homebase, so we very needed this win. and sweden falled out already in quarter final. yaaawn.. what to do now. idk. surf in demi.fi (forum) and look what young ppl discuss about there. there is a lot of bullshitt discussions because typical teens, but sometimes there is full sensible discussions too. and im not the only one "oldie" there. there is many other and even older than me. i have often answered to some fool questions by small teens. i love to help :D and isnt it good just, that we older "sisters" help younger ones forward in this life :P because experience.
should vacuumclean this room. not done it for 2 week almost o.O because been so allergic. but sure allergy is stronger when is much dust :D if this histec will help, then tomorrow im able to vacuumclean here finally. i have been afraid to vacuumclean because then all dust go in the air and i will just get more sick. today i cant cuz sunday. need respect the resting day.
father got work in some building company. there is long workdays but he is happy that he even have a work and get a salary. he was many months without job. also he finally changed car :D he bought newer van car. some white ford transit. 2001 years modell.
his last one was soooooooo hatsjiuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... khh khh.. horrible and etc.
i always shamed when he drove with it. when that car was on the park somewhere, it woke attention from 1km. other cars were new and nice. then suddenly my fathers car there :D
proprio.. now i start to surf in internet and etc.
lauantai 21. toukokuuta 2016
sun moved in gemini now
my work ended 17th dec. öö. may. what i write lol. ok i woke 1 hour ago. still not got coffee. but coffee is cooking now. last night was very psychotic sleeping. when i went to sleep at 1 am, and i didnt get sleep because negative toughs came in mind. then i nervous smoked 1-2 times. then still didnt calm down. then i took 1 valeriana (homeopathic) pill, and tried again to sleep. then i falled to somekind of half sleep, and i saw very ugly hallucination or illusion or what ever, when i layed eyes closed. some ugly and big bee near my face on the wall or cover. im not sure. but i saw it soo clearly. then i in panic moved up to sitting position in bed and started to search for it :D but then i realized it was just illusion or something :D:D but i was very nervous after it xD i left out to smoke again to calm down. then i took 1 sandwich because i tough maybe im hungry or smth. then i ate and continued sleep. then all good.
i have before too seen this kind of insect illusions when falling asleep. 1 other time i saw big spider near me (i dont know if in wall or cover) but near somewhere. and then also i standed up in panic from bed and looked for it :D so disgusting...
idk what make this. maybe because i first had negative thinkings and somekind of anxiety because of the toughs, then valeriana somehow launched and gave this bugs :D
or then it is because my sleep regime is going wrong. im too late awake this days. and wake up at 9-12 :D yesterday i woke after 12 o.O
aha coffee ready. sec
finland is in semifinal now in ice hockey. today 16:10 start semifinal games. there is usa vs canada, and finland vs russia. usa-canada game is later in evening, at 8 pm.
this finland vs russia game is dangerous because russia is in his homebase. games are played in russia. finland have played best sofar. 0 loss. canada was also unbeaten, until finland beated them few days ago :D today will see if finland still continue to be unbeaten in this world championship.. if not. then my game watchings are over for this may 2016.
in sunday is final game. i will not watch it if finland is not there. sweden falled already out in quarterfinal. poor them.. finland + sweden both wished that we meet in final, as manytimes we have met :D we are for ever enemies in ice hockey :D
what ever happen, i hope russia dont win gold. they in last years played much dirty games and cheated. and judges did nothing. annoying.
my work may continue in 1-2 weeks. depending on how fast they do decision in one office.
i got the report of my 6 months working yesterday from post. they wrote how i worked and how i was. much positive was, for example i was assistant director in led light packing :D, while i in same time was working in IT sector :D they made me assistant director in january because i was best in it and knew everything about, inventarions and all. and i drove the led lights to the factory and so on. and when there came new workers, i taught them. xD
even im just practice worker, still i got credit jobs :D feels nice.
i dont still know what direction i will go in this life. study or work or studywork?
we still figuring it out with some psychology. but we have got many ideas now. now need only choose the best ones. then try every of them. 10 years i have been so stuck with this career things. most problem was infected eczema, it stopped the motivation to seek work/go study. if is ugly skin everywhere and everyplace hurt. and energy is in zero. and self-esteem in zero. how can even think about career things then. now skin is in somehow control. and self-esteem rised much. i feel ready now for career plans. or feel ready for some normal work. just need to find what that will be. i have too many interests to all directions. difficult choose then.
sun moved in gemini yesterday. good bye slow times.. taurus sun is always little bit slow period. things go slowly forward. now things will go faster. and more versatile. because gemini is versatile and quick. like a quicksilver. jump to all directions stressfull and chaotic :D
also mercury stopped now. and will turn its direction 22 may, tomorrow. so can feel strange now in this days. when it start to go forward from tomorrow, it will start slowly, so no good to make important plans yet. better wait 1-2 weeks till mercury is on its good speed going forward. mars still backwarding, to 30.6. life energy is weak so long. for men this effect more visible.
feels so nice to have vacation . kriaaak.. can sleep and do as like. and no alarm clocks commanding. only 1 hairy animal with 4 legs can sometimes command at 6 am. but i dont care, but switch my side in bed and continue zzzzzzz :D
yesterday we was on the picnic. took pizza from kajaani abc., and i took coffees from my home in termos. then sat in vimpelinlampi and watched sunset. we sat near green where the sheep's use to be every summer. they was not there yet. maybe because grass was not enough growen. they bring them there when grass enough high. if they eat newborn grass too fast, grass will not grow anymore.. maybe. tipsu was with us too. but she only freezed there and sat in 1 position for 2 hours. boring cat. but ye now was not so warm. just 13c.
we forgot to feed mörri yesterday :-/ now i need alone today go feed him by bisyckle. because mother dont have time to drive me today. saturdays she is usually busy.
i hope will not be raining then. either i go at 3pm, or after 6pm. because ice hockey start 4 pm and last to 6.30 pm or some. what food will i make today *-) i have some old food in fridge. but that meat somehow tasted old :S even i cooked it in day when meat was expiring. in expiring day meat should yet be fine. but idk, i have too critical taste seem so.
éverything must be 1000% fresh. foods fly maybe to trash then just. they are in a pan in fridge. sad to throw so much food away but what can. better throw than throw up xD
about meat and milkproductions im very critical, that they must be very fresh or i dont eat at all. only milk i can use after "best before" day, cuz can easily smell and look if its fine. when put in coffee, easily see if its allright. normally milk last max 1 week after best before day. if keep it in good cold position in fridge. and i never leave milk bottle on the table for long time. when i take it from fridge. i immidiately put it on the object, then hurry put back. then i know milk wont get bad too fast. some humans can leave milk bottle on table for 2 hours. then they cry why their milk gets so fast bad. hah.. i dont leave even cheese to table long time. all milk things i put fast back always. only butt i dont, because need to let it melt sometimes..
creamery butter is otherwise too hard to use.
sec need take flixotide. need take it every morning and evening for ever. its preventing the asthma infections of coming. in norway i didnt take it at all. no wondering why then needed call ambulance. but then some swedish doctor there explained to me how important it is to take. he showed some animated photos of lungs and wires how they work and how they goes in mess if dont get that medicine. only 1 big mistake he did. he wrote to me baby dosage :D 100mikrog :D and i didnt ofcourse know this. when when i moved back to fniland. i wondered why i again got lungsinfection. and again needed to hostpital. then there they wondered why my flixotide is so weak dosage. and i was like o.O idk.. maybe the swedish doctor wrote it :D and then they hurry changed it to normal 250mikrog ration :D
in norway flixotide is by name flutide. idk why it must be different name. i manytimes there in apotecary said accidently flixotide. they didnt understand what i mean :D::D
now i have not anymore got lungs infection directly just like that, but now it have came trought flu. when come flu, then mikrobes goes down to lungs. its little difficult to stop.
every year 1-2 times this happen. thats why im always very afraid of flu, cuz i know lungs will soon infect 90% surely too. spring is always worst time. because then is more dust. street dust and then pollen dust. its for every allergic + asthmatic human worst months. hostpitals full of patients then. in norway i maybe would avoid this. there is cleaner air + nature in this case. but nah i dont go more back there. there i will be lonesome just. and poor. norwegians somehow too proud and they are accurate of their own region and privacy. somehow not easy to be friends with them. only 1 friend i have there who is relax and i somehow match good with. but nobody else seem so. everyone too reserved there.
but ok im reserved person too.. so what i am to blame :D if is introvert person, then opponent must be extrovert. if 2 introverts, what will be.. both just silent and shy. phahahahha.. ok idk what i want to tell by this. i dont mean norwegians are like that.
and finnish ppl are also silent and reserved. only when they open bottle cap., then they become talkactive. maybe swedish ppl are more normal in this, they are balanced and social. and they are theirself. they dont act anything. sweden is between finland + norway. are somehow the extremity in everythings. then sweden in between is little of each things. like balance. they are nothing too much or nothing too less. but perfectly balanced.
but still norway + finland make much jokes of sweden :D
but im still bitter to sweden cuz they have born goldspoon in mouth. they never was in a war for example. they always got everything easy. they are like.. the Gladstone Gander from donald duck. lucky in everythings :D and wise. they have created much nice things to world.
time is 11:16 hmmh what to do now.. energy is very low. maybe i only continue sit on pc. maybe play some games.
i have before too seen this kind of insect illusions when falling asleep. 1 other time i saw big spider near me (i dont know if in wall or cover) but near somewhere. and then also i standed up in panic from bed and looked for it :D so disgusting...
idk what make this. maybe because i first had negative thinkings and somekind of anxiety because of the toughs, then valeriana somehow launched and gave this bugs :D
or then it is because my sleep regime is going wrong. im too late awake this days. and wake up at 9-12 :D yesterday i woke after 12 o.O
aha coffee ready. sec
finland is in semifinal now in ice hockey. today 16:10 start semifinal games. there is usa vs canada, and finland vs russia. usa-canada game is later in evening, at 8 pm.
this finland vs russia game is dangerous because russia is in his homebase. games are played in russia. finland have played best sofar. 0 loss. canada was also unbeaten, until finland beated them few days ago :D today will see if finland still continue to be unbeaten in this world championship.. if not. then my game watchings are over for this may 2016.
in sunday is final game. i will not watch it if finland is not there. sweden falled already out in quarterfinal. poor them.. finland + sweden both wished that we meet in final, as manytimes we have met :D we are for ever enemies in ice hockey :D
what ever happen, i hope russia dont win gold. they in last years played much dirty games and cheated. and judges did nothing. annoying.
my work may continue in 1-2 weeks. depending on how fast they do decision in one office.
i got the report of my 6 months working yesterday from post. they wrote how i worked and how i was. much positive was, for example i was assistant director in led light packing :D, while i in same time was working in IT sector :D they made me assistant director in january because i was best in it and knew everything about, inventarions and all. and i drove the led lights to the factory and so on. and when there came new workers, i taught them. xD
even im just practice worker, still i got credit jobs :D feels nice.
i dont still know what direction i will go in this life. study or work or studywork?
we still figuring it out with some psychology. but we have got many ideas now. now need only choose the best ones. then try every of them. 10 years i have been so stuck with this career things. most problem was infected eczema, it stopped the motivation to seek work/go study. if is ugly skin everywhere and everyplace hurt. and energy is in zero. and self-esteem in zero. how can even think about career things then. now skin is in somehow control. and self-esteem rised much. i feel ready now for career plans. or feel ready for some normal work. just need to find what that will be. i have too many interests to all directions. difficult choose then.
sun moved in gemini yesterday. good bye slow times.. taurus sun is always little bit slow period. things go slowly forward. now things will go faster. and more versatile. because gemini is versatile and quick. like a quicksilver. jump to all directions stressfull and chaotic :D
also mercury stopped now. and will turn its direction 22 may, tomorrow. so can feel strange now in this days. when it start to go forward from tomorrow, it will start slowly, so no good to make important plans yet. better wait 1-2 weeks till mercury is on its good speed going forward. mars still backwarding, to 30.6. life energy is weak so long. for men this effect more visible.
feels so nice to have vacation . kriaaak.. can sleep and do as like. and no alarm clocks commanding. only 1 hairy animal with 4 legs can sometimes command at 6 am. but i dont care, but switch my side in bed and continue zzzzzzz :D
yesterday we was on the picnic. took pizza from kajaani abc., and i took coffees from my home in termos. then sat in vimpelinlampi and watched sunset. we sat near green where the sheep's use to be every summer. they was not there yet. maybe because grass was not enough growen. they bring them there when grass enough high. if they eat newborn grass too fast, grass will not grow anymore.. maybe. tipsu was with us too. but she only freezed there and sat in 1 position for 2 hours. boring cat. but ye now was not so warm. just 13c.
we forgot to feed mörri yesterday :-/ now i need alone today go feed him by bisyckle. because mother dont have time to drive me today. saturdays she is usually busy.
i hope will not be raining then. either i go at 3pm, or after 6pm. because ice hockey start 4 pm and last to 6.30 pm or some. what food will i make today *-) i have some old food in fridge. but that meat somehow tasted old :S even i cooked it in day when meat was expiring. in expiring day meat should yet be fine. but idk, i have too critical taste seem so.
éverything must be 1000% fresh. foods fly maybe to trash then just. they are in a pan in fridge. sad to throw so much food away but what can. better throw than throw up xD
about meat and milkproductions im very critical, that they must be very fresh or i dont eat at all. only milk i can use after "best before" day, cuz can easily smell and look if its fine. when put in coffee, easily see if its allright. normally milk last max 1 week after best before day. if keep it in good cold position in fridge. and i never leave milk bottle on the table for long time. when i take it from fridge. i immidiately put it on the object, then hurry put back. then i know milk wont get bad too fast. some humans can leave milk bottle on table for 2 hours. then they cry why their milk gets so fast bad. hah.. i dont leave even cheese to table long time. all milk things i put fast back always. only butt i dont, because need to let it melt sometimes..
creamery butter is otherwise too hard to use.
sec need take flixotide. need take it every morning and evening for ever. its preventing the asthma infections of coming. in norway i didnt take it at all. no wondering why then needed call ambulance. but then some swedish doctor there explained to me how important it is to take. he showed some animated photos of lungs and wires how they work and how they goes in mess if dont get that medicine. only 1 big mistake he did. he wrote to me baby dosage :D 100mikrog :D and i didnt ofcourse know this. when when i moved back to fniland. i wondered why i again got lungsinfection. and again needed to hostpital. then there they wondered why my flixotide is so weak dosage. and i was like o.O idk.. maybe the swedish doctor wrote it :D and then they hurry changed it to normal 250mikrog ration :D
in norway flixotide is by name flutide. idk why it must be different name. i manytimes there in apotecary said accidently flixotide. they didnt understand what i mean :D::D
now i have not anymore got lungs infection directly just like that, but now it have came trought flu. when come flu, then mikrobes goes down to lungs. its little difficult to stop.
every year 1-2 times this happen. thats why im always very afraid of flu, cuz i know lungs will soon infect 90% surely too. spring is always worst time. because then is more dust. street dust and then pollen dust. its for every allergic + asthmatic human worst months. hostpitals full of patients then. in norway i maybe would avoid this. there is cleaner air + nature in this case. but nah i dont go more back there. there i will be lonesome just. and poor. norwegians somehow too proud and they are accurate of their own region and privacy. somehow not easy to be friends with them. only 1 friend i have there who is relax and i somehow match good with. but nobody else seem so. everyone too reserved there.
but ok im reserved person too.. so what i am to blame :D if is introvert person, then opponent must be extrovert. if 2 introverts, what will be.. both just silent and shy. phahahahha.. ok idk what i want to tell by this. i dont mean norwegians are like that.
and finnish ppl are also silent and reserved. only when they open bottle cap., then they become talkactive. maybe swedish ppl are more normal in this, they are balanced and social. and they are theirself. they dont act anything. sweden is between finland + norway. are somehow the extremity in everythings. then sweden in between is little of each things. like balance. they are nothing too much or nothing too less. but perfectly balanced.
but still norway + finland make much jokes of sweden :D
but im still bitter to sweden cuz they have born goldspoon in mouth. they never was in a war for example. they always got everything easy. they are like.. the Gladstone Gander from donald duck. lucky in everythings :D and wise. they have created much nice things to world.
time is 11:16 hmmh what to do now.. energy is very low. maybe i only continue sit on pc. maybe play some games.
keskiviikko 11. toukokuuta 2016
good morning
i woke just from day nap. now drinking coffee. i just took some oxygen drops which give more oxygen to body (?). mother bought to her self + to me and command me to test it too :D
today i played football with workmates. i made 1 goal. im not so grandmother still seem so :D. tomorrow can little be hurt legs.. basketball also we played. i hate basket, but i still played it too. heavy rain started when i sycled home. but raining felt just good after sport.
work ending day moved to 17th mai, because when i was sick, i was some days away, so ending day moved. if im again now away in next days, then ending day again will move forward :D. and after when my works end, i will in near future continue there, but i will have a break. dont know how long. maybe 1 week - 1 month. some bureaucracy things in seeking for continue. papers go trough many offices and bla bla. i will not even try to explain in english.
not played any game in long time because ice hockey taken all attention now..
in evening 20:15 start finland vs hungary. poor hungary, they are worst team in this tournament :D we will eat them 10-0 surely. canada already beated them 8-0 :P
in this tournament best and possible medal winners countries are canada, finland, czech, sweden, russia. worst is latvia, hungary, germany and belarus. then something in middle skills are denmark, slovakia, norway, usa, kazakshtan, france, switzerland. but sure, never can know.
i watch almost all matches now because i purchased full HD quality sport pack in online tv.
in last years i have watched with shitt quality and foreign language some small screen streaming videos, which lagg every 5 sec :D
in end of may or juni can come super heat from russia direction to finland. help help.
i dont like. its ok if few day of week is hot, but if its nonstop for 4 weeks, will be awful.
muuh i want back to sleep. still sleepy. like 40 mins day nap is not enough? hm..
this coffee dont even help. sun is shining a bit outside now. maybe i go sit to balcon and try to wake up. zzzzzzzzz adios
today i played football with workmates. i made 1 goal. im not so grandmother still seem so :D. tomorrow can little be hurt legs.. basketball also we played. i hate basket, but i still played it too. heavy rain started when i sycled home. but raining felt just good after sport.
work ending day moved to 17th mai, because when i was sick, i was some days away, so ending day moved. if im again now away in next days, then ending day again will move forward :D. and after when my works end, i will in near future continue there, but i will have a break. dont know how long. maybe 1 week - 1 month. some bureaucracy things in seeking for continue. papers go trough many offices and bla bla. i will not even try to explain in english.
not played any game in long time because ice hockey taken all attention now..
in evening 20:15 start finland vs hungary. poor hungary, they are worst team in this tournament :D we will eat them 10-0 surely. canada already beated them 8-0 :P
in this tournament best and possible medal winners countries are canada, finland, czech, sweden, russia. worst is latvia, hungary, germany and belarus. then something in middle skills are denmark, slovakia, norway, usa, kazakshtan, france, switzerland. but sure, never can know.
i watch almost all matches now because i purchased full HD quality sport pack in online tv.
in last years i have watched with shitt quality and foreign language some small screen streaming videos, which lagg every 5 sec :D
in end of may or juni can come super heat from russia direction to finland. help help.
i dont like. its ok if few day of week is hot, but if its nonstop for 4 weeks, will be awful.
muuh i want back to sleep. still sleepy. like 40 mins day nap is not enough? hm..
this coffee dont even help. sun is shining a bit outside now. maybe i go sit to balcon and try to wake up. zzzzzzzzz adios
tiistai 3. toukokuuta 2016
hatsjiuh
work continue yet to 13rd friday may. then idk what after it. somehow been in fog in last days, not had interest to even talk or think about future things. well.. better live 1 hour per time :D
and no stress. but yes moon was in fishes in last days, so no wondering if serious things didnt matter in last times :) and backwarding mercury also effecting now. no intrerest to think about future at all now. maybe more i think about past. pfff.
thursday is free from work, because "feast of the ascension", i took that word from wikipedia. in finnish its helatorstai. friday also free, but its not any holy day, just for fun we get free then too :) long weekend will be.. would be fun if we go to make campfire or smth.
in 1st may i was just home. aa but i was by marika in friday. 1 other girl was there too. we cooked food and played games.
i have clothes fever now. manydays looked for clothes, shirts, shoes, everything on the net shops. but cant buy everythings at once. so rich im not :D trainee working salary is not so much.. sdafsfadsafd.. i want to buy everything, all, now now now now. 1 jeans bought this far. now im dreaming about shirts + shoes. but better wait for next salary, which come soon. i have little bit panic also to buy things i need, if work is ending, then the summer im without money if need to walk to social office and begg benefit money :D:D:D with that moneys cant buy anythings.. now need hurry buy when yet is money. and eat poor food.. this month.
this coffee make me sleepy. bad coffee. shower too needs. i dont waaaaaaaaaaaaant.
maybe im a cat. cuz hate water right now. ok i go with umbrella to shower then.
and with scissors make 1 small hole in umbrella, so that even little bit water come trought xD
after work i sycled to my favourite place, just to smoke a cig, then sycled back.
im gone fater in last days, so i try to burn calories :D (eaten candies, chips, etc trash). but shshsh dont tell anyone. 53.5kg now -.- need 2-3 kg down. can be legs muscles too that are growing.. because walked + sycled very active in this spring. dunno.
1 tooth also ice aching because of candies. because i have bad habit to eat candies middle on night too when wake up for toilet. then eat jsut and continue sleep. and ofcourse teetch dont like it. need to brush with salt + normal toothcreme a lot now, then aching will stop.
once i had very small hole coming and it ached, then i everyday 4-5 times with salt (not cleaned seasalt from health shop) brushed on that tooth, and hole disappeard. dentist also was wonderingly.
i notice when summer is coming. all 40+ old drunkards attack the benches at beach route behind my house. there is many benches, but always drunkards take the benches. then normal humans cant sit there. (like im any normal but ösöshshhs :D:D:) and when i sycle past them, i always speed up, because im afraid they will attack me or shout something "heeei gööööörllll. come heeereee" :D:D:D
can never know of them :D. sometimes some single drunkard just sleep on the bench.
why polices dont go command them away -.- or maybe they try.. but drunkards come hurry back after. in norway i never saw drunkards on the streets. maybe because so bad + cold weathers there. here no wind + air is warm.. good for nolifers then.
jöööh. some old 70-90y man said in market cassa "merry christmas" to cassa woman. maybe dementia.. but now i go to get very fresh air trought filter. ok hei. the air is so fresh, so need to clean it with filter. ok now i go. hei.
and no stress. but yes moon was in fishes in last days, so no wondering if serious things didnt matter in last times :) and backwarding mercury also effecting now. no intrerest to think about future at all now. maybe more i think about past. pfff.
thursday is free from work, because "feast of the ascension", i took that word from wikipedia. in finnish its helatorstai. friday also free, but its not any holy day, just for fun we get free then too :) long weekend will be.. would be fun if we go to make campfire or smth.
in 1st may i was just home. aa but i was by marika in friday. 1 other girl was there too. we cooked food and played games.
i have clothes fever now. manydays looked for clothes, shirts, shoes, everything on the net shops. but cant buy everythings at once. so rich im not :D trainee working salary is not so much.. sdafsfadsafd.. i want to buy everything, all, now now now now. 1 jeans bought this far. now im dreaming about shirts + shoes. but better wait for next salary, which come soon. i have little bit panic also to buy things i need, if work is ending, then the summer im without money if need to walk to social office and begg benefit money :D:D:D with that moneys cant buy anythings.. now need hurry buy when yet is money. and eat poor food.. this month.
this coffee make me sleepy. bad coffee. shower too needs. i dont waaaaaaaaaaaaant.
maybe im a cat. cuz hate water right now. ok i go with umbrella to shower then.
and with scissors make 1 small hole in umbrella, so that even little bit water come trought xD
after work i sycled to my favourite place, just to smoke a cig, then sycled back.
im gone fater in last days, so i try to burn calories :D (eaten candies, chips, etc trash). but shshsh dont tell anyone. 53.5kg now -.- need 2-3 kg down. can be legs muscles too that are growing.. because walked + sycled very active in this spring. dunno.
1 tooth also ice aching because of candies. because i have bad habit to eat candies middle on night too when wake up for toilet. then eat jsut and continue sleep. and ofcourse teetch dont like it. need to brush with salt + normal toothcreme a lot now, then aching will stop.
once i had very small hole coming and it ached, then i everyday 4-5 times with salt (not cleaned seasalt from health shop) brushed on that tooth, and hole disappeard. dentist also was wonderingly.
i notice when summer is coming. all 40+ old drunkards attack the benches at beach route behind my house. there is many benches, but always drunkards take the benches. then normal humans cant sit there. (like im any normal but ösöshshhs :D:D:) and when i sycle past them, i always speed up, because im afraid they will attack me or shout something "heeei gööööörllll. come heeereee" :D:D:D
can never know of them :D. sometimes some single drunkard just sleep on the bench.
why polices dont go command them away -.- or maybe they try.. but drunkards come hurry back after. in norway i never saw drunkards on the streets. maybe because so bad + cold weathers there. here no wind + air is warm.. good for nolifers then.
jöööh. some old 70-90y man said in market cassa "merry christmas" to cassa woman. maybe dementia.. but now i go to get very fresh air trought filter. ok hei. the air is so fresh, so need to clean it with filter. ok now i go. hei.
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